Feature: How to pick up women and do sex: PUA tips from the game(s, of the video variety)

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Screenshots

I was always extremely confused by Pick Up Artists and The Game as it had been explained to me, because rocking up in a bar and acting like a smarmy dickhead in a stupid hat, like you’d taken cocaine but without the marginal cool factor of knowing anyone who could get you coke or even where to begin, only worked in the 90s before literally everyone had heard of what negging is. But then I realised it was just a case of crossed wires: it wasn’t ‘game’ it was ‘games’. Video games! And now we’re talking my language. So, now that I’m armed with a flimsy article premise just in time for Valentine’s Day, let’s see how successful the PUA technique is when we view it through the lens of what games have taught us about romance.

The Opener

If there’s one thing I know women like – based on what I read about us from opinion pieces by men because, as a woman, I am in no position to know what women like unless an American who lives with his mother has written an article about it first – it’s being approached without warning on a street by a stranger, so your opening line is key. Our model here is The Witcher himself, Geralt of Rivia: women want him, men want to be him (even if I personally don’t get it). Like any seasoned PUA, Geralt is able to adjust his approach as the situation demands it, with openers ranging from the smooth ‘My medallion vibrates when you’re nearby, and it only vibrates near magic or danger,’ (note: you will need to source a medallion to use this one) to the extremely direct ‘I like the way you smell,’ and it always seems to work for him. Take a leaf out of Geralt’s book by delivering killer lines and/or becoming a beast-slaying warrior with a cool ponytail.

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Feature: How to pick up women and do sex: PUA tips from the game(s, of the video variety)